I just go back from Alamanda with my mom and youngest sister. Having Baskin Robbins. Adik teringin nak makan. So bawak kejap, kebetulan my mom nak beli kek untuk celebration hape ntah kat office dia. Hishhish memacams. Hehe :)) So dapat kek balik yea! :D
But... Suddenly cross my mind. i'm thinking about my future life. How's my life will looks like. Oh sangat gelisah bile fikirkan benda ni. I want to be a successful women. And semua org akan fikir benda yang sama kan? Not only depends from someone else. Tak kisah la my parents ke, my future husband ke. I dunno why, but suddenly. There was a night, I almost gave up for my life. Sound's like annoying kan? But this is what I feel in a one long night. It was so hard but in the back of my mind I knew it there had to be a way. I had no idea and I almost gave up. I've cried myself to sleep and I couldn't stop the flood tears flowing down my face.
I guess I feel like everything always goes wrong for me. I feel like I spend my all time trying to change my circumstances and achieve my aspirations and dreams. And I just fail time and time again. Emotionally is taking over my confidently and I'm doubting myself. I can't get my motivation back. I was really down, depressed and upset. Sigh :|
On the same night, I saw my dad's face. Life of businessman is always challenging. And involves many ups and downs. And sometimes we can't always get what we want, and other things will come along while we are focusing on something. But whatever it is, I feel thankful, be grateful to God what He has given us. Alhamdulillah. I realized that my dad had been facing challenging and he never gives up what on God. If my dad gives up, what will happen to my family now? I just can't give up now. I've come too far from where I started from. I need to be inspired and learn how to rebuild my confidence back. I will make him as well as myself proud and I will succeed, Insha'Allah.
I just wrote it down what I feel. Because this is my blog, this is the way I can all out my feelings. So for silent, killer reader please stop negative comments. And I don't mind if you call me loser, obsessed, or even whatsoever. Please stop doing this to me. Saya manusia biasa. And I know I'm not good enough perfect. Just one thing. Jangan sibuk dan amik tahu ttg kehidupan org lain lebihlebih lagi jika kamu krg selesa kepada seseorg. Jangan membenci melulu tanpa kenal siapa dia dan isi hatinya. And please if nak menegur sesuatu ada caranya, kalau salah cara menegurnya sebenarnya kita menegur kelemahan diri kita sendiri. Jadi jangan cepat melatah dengan sesuatu benda. Create yourself. Don't bother other peoples life. If you wanna talk behind of me its okay. And I don't mind. Tapi tak perlu meminta perhatian negatif disini. Attention seeking is just pathetic. Teguran yang membina sangat perlu bagi saya, bukan sebaliknya. Silap semua org buat silap. Bak kata seorang sahabat saya. Tanpa kesilapan, tanpa teguran kita tidak belajar apaapa. Insha'Allah. Allah lebih mengetahui.